How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Women's Rights

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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