A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down

butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

thumb_up thumb_down

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops