A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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