I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops