Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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