What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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belly button

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Diarrhea

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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