There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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guess what what that wasnt it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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