Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops