Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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the love boat

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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