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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

Lindsay Lohan

A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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