I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -18

FOX News: Fair and balanced

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Haha, I get it..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops