A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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