Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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can you touch your toes? no

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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