Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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men

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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