What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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