What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Wolfjob.

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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