-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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aa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops