What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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