A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Rebecca Black

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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