you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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