Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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