Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Punching a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so old she died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops