You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops