Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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