Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops