someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Yeah I am sure nobody understood that one... Just be careful in the future. Besides you are supposed to link your "Moral" to the Solvemedia, I suggest you do not post, until you understand things further, I only suggest, but you know that if you become exposed or a threat towards outstanding forces, you become a threat to us all, to our and your fundation, this will not be tolerated unless your desire is to destroy your on fundation, if so, you risk that the desire of the entire fundation, is to destroy you, something which I of course will allow, as I am the leader, not the boss, I do not create nor enforce rules, only guidelines. Moral the friendly neighborhood R*pist: "being new, is no excuse to risk exposing shadows to the light"

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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