A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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