what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops