What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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