how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

What do vampires cross the sea in?

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

What's round and orangey? An orange.

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg