why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Reading books

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops