roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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