whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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69

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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