My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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thomas!!!!

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops