Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Bark I'm a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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rarw

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road ? because half way acroos he got hit by a car and the animal heath care had to take him away and put him down

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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watch a i d s left

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops