Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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