What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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Obama lin Baden.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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