A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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penis

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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