Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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