roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

Sarah Palin

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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