How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

I <3 Hitler

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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