Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

A dancer walks into a barre

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

When you have read this, you've already read it.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...