Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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