A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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