How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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