Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Dance is a sport

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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