How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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