What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Walnut

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

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A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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