Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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