If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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honest politician

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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women's rights

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops