Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Hello

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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